Skip to content

20 Corny Halloween Jokes

October 26, 2016

These are from Reader’s Digest by ANDY SIMMONS, a features editor at Reader’s Digest.

Q: Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A: They have no body to love

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels

Q: What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.

Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos.

Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
A: He heard it had great circulation.

Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo.

Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.

Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.

Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.

Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
A: Boo-gers

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.

Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Q:What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.

More: Funny Jokes  Dumb & Funny  Halloween  Laughs & Humor

Advertisements

From → Humor

2 Comments
  1. Q: What food do dieters eat on Halloween?

    A: A Halloweenweiner. [hot dog]

    Q: Did you know that Halloween is the Unofficial Holiday for Prositutes?

    A: Don’t they go around saying “TRICK for a TREAT”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: