20 Corny Halloween Jokes
These are from Reader’s Digest by ANDY SIMMONS, a features editor at Reader’s Digest.
Q: Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A: They have no body to love
Q: Know why skeletons are so calm?
A: Because nothing gets under their skin.
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels
Q: What’s a ghoul’s favorite bean?
A: A human bean.
Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar?
A: For the Boos.
Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
A: He heard it had great circulation.
Q: Why did the headless horseman go into business?
A: He wanted to get ahead in life.
Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Q: Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Q: The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it?
A: A coffin.
Q: What do you call a witch’s garage?
A: A broom closet.
Q: Why don’t mummies take time off?
A: They’re afraid to unwind.
Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: Because he had bat breath.
Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A: A grave problem.
Q: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
A: Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q:What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It’s a pain in the neck.