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Faith Filled Friday: Silly Humor and a Few Uplifting Thoughts

March 6, 2020

You can always tell a traveling tree by the way it packs up its trunk and leaves.

A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?”
“No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?”
The little boy replied, “Thank God he’s in bed!”

A little girl made tea using a fly swatter as a strainer and reassured her mom that she didn’t use the new one.

Don’t tell secrets in the garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beanstalk.

Grandmother to grandson: “Are you in the top half of your class?”
Grandson: “No, I’m one of the students who make the top half possible.”

The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

From A Child’s Perspective
A kindergarten Sunday School class was discussing the subject of prayer. The children understood that you ended a prayer by saying, “Amen.”
“Does anyone know what ‘amen’ means?” the teacher asked.
After a long silence one little girl said, “I think it means, like, ‘SEND’.”

People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

While watching a lightning storm with her mother, a little girl asked, “Is that God taking pictures?”

Teacher: “Everyday we breathe oxygen. What do we breath at night?”
Student: “Nitrogen.”

Work for the Lord. The pay isn’t much, but His retirement plan is out of this world.

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me honestly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom’s a good cook.

Someone threw a bottle of omega-3 pills at me! Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil.

I’m so far behind, I think I’m a mile in front.

The pen might be mightier than the sword … but I want one of each, just in case.

A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest; long enough to cover the subject.

Some days I amaze myself.
Other days I put the laundry in the oven.

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