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Reblog: How to Avoid Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village

February 13, 2020

This blog, How to Avoid Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village, posted by Nicholas C. Rossis really tickled my funny bone. He includes a link for writer Maureen Johnson who is the author of the Truly Devious mystery series and of the article.

This is just a sampling of his long list:
PLACES TO AVOID
Places with gargoyles or statuary
Ghosts and monsters of stone. They are there to kill you.
The village shop
They sell cheese, stamps, tea, and death.
The stables
How do you prefer to go: pitchforked, or stomped to death by a two-thousand-pound animal? Spoiler: it will be both.
Canopy beds
They have snakes in them.
PEOPLE TO AVOID
The vicar
See previous note about the village church. When you see the vicar, run. If you are not dead yet, the vicar is obliged to kill you.
Visiting mystery novelists
You’ll make nice story meat.
PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT ARE GENERALLY SAFE
The pub
No one would defile the pub.

Here is his link so you can read about all the other places and write down those you want to avoid or use on your trip to England.
How to Avoid Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village
by Nicholas C. Rossis
We’ve been watching a lot of Midsommer Murders and the likes with Electra over the years. From which we have concluded that few places are as dangerous as quaint English villages. Now, a hilarious article by Maureen Johnson on Crime Reads, explains just how dangerous they really are – and what you can do to […]
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From → Writer's Craft

2 Comments
  1. Many thanks for sharing 🙂

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