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I needed some humor today

June 1, 2017

These are all from the Facebook page Women After 50. It’s a new site I discovered yesterday and have spent far too much time on. ~ Connie

My Brain is like an Internet Browser
– 393 tabs are open
– 72 are not responding
– something I opened is playing in an endless loop
– why does guessing my last password (for a website I rarely visit) feel like Wheel of Fortune?
– and where is that annoying music coming from?

BRAIN:
I can see that you are trying to sleep, so let me offer you a selection of every memory, unresolved issue, and everything you should have said or done today or in the past 40 years…and further let me increase your ability to feel and focus on any health or financial issues you are currently having…finally let me give you super hero hearing so that you can stay awake listening to every annoying or worrisome sound from your house or body.

Body and Brain Upgrade
Don’t you wish there was a “restore” button for you memory, a “refresh” button for your skin and body, and a “delete cookies” button for your thighs?
I have been working really hard to expand my skill set as I get older. And I can honestly report that I have completely mastered the ability to forget what I’m doing while I am doing it.

People born in the 50s and 60s have lived in 6 or 7 decades, 2 centuries, and 2 millenniums.
We have had the best music, the most unique and awesome cars, drive-in theaters, and drive-in restaurants where you ate in your car. We grew up eating more homemade foods, and playing outside more than inside. We managed to live without text messages, emails, computers, reality TV, fast food, and cars that drive themselves. We learned manners and respect at an early age. We hand wrote letters, curled up with books, played tag, jumped rope, played jacks, and passed notes.

Opportunity?
If one door opens and another closes, your house is probably haunted!

#Wherehavemannersgone??
I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loud when people don’t say thank you.

Closing Thoughts
If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. All of us could use a little more love and kindness.
Don’t stress about your eyesight getting worse as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from the shock as you walk by a mirror.

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From → Humor

4 Comments
  1. Women and men over 50 tend to say exactly what’s on their mind – that’s one good thing about aging!! Most of this is so funny because in it’s own way – it’s TRUE!! Thanks, I need a good chuckle today too.

    • PS. I had to come back and print this out!!

      • You should visit her Facebook page. I think I spent an hour there just chuckling away!
        I did a link for her page; hopefully it works. Thank you.

      • Yup – it works, it took me an hour to get off of there!!

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