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Changing the TV channel with the shoehorn

February 3, 2017

Apparently it doesn’t take much to confuse me these days. I still think of myself as young even though I’m in my late 60s. Senility is lurking around the corner and making far too many tries to drive me crazy.
Earlier today I sat in my husband’s recliner which is directly in front of the TV. Our remote is also old and ornery when the buttons are pressed, but they seem to work better from that chair than mine which is slightly catty-corner to the TV. I finished watching a Blue Bloods rerun and turned the TV off,  setting the remote down on the table.
I  moved to my chair to put on my shoes and socks. I use a shoehorn to help get my shoes on and as soon as I picked it up the TV channel changed to a golf tournament.
Did I pick up the remote by mistake?
I looked at the shoe horn in my hand – just to be certain it was a shoehorn. My son had bought it for a few years ago because I had too much trouble with the little shoehorn. It’s  a beautiful instrument about ten inches long, made of wood and gold-toned metal. The remote and the shoehorn look nothing alike.
Next, I looked over at the other table and saw the remote lying peacefully beside my empty coffee cup. I started laughing until the tears ran down my cheeks.
Direct TV is known for flipping the channel especially if you want to record two shows and watch a third. No. No. You can record two shows simultaneously, but you have to watch one of them. There have been a number of times it flipped the channel just because it wanted to.
Next, just a few hours ago, my friend Wilma called me to tell me she missed seeing me at Bingo. I reminded her that I had a dentist appointment and couldn’t come. She replied, “That was on Tuesday, but Bingo was changed to Wednesday.” Wilma laughed with me when I told her about my mix-up with the appointment time.
The Activities Director had called me on Tuesday with the change and asked me to call Wilma which I did. I neglected to make a note and the change apparently flew straight out of my head. Normally, I would have written a sticky note and changed it on my desk calendar as well. Nada.
Back to Tuesday. Kim the dental hygienist called me about 30 seconds after I hung up the phone from talking to Cindy at the nursing home. I thought Cindy was calling me back with something she forgot, but then I saw my dentist’s name on caller ID. Kim was calling to see if I was coming. I was supposed to be there now. She had a cancellation so I could hurry on down. When I had looked at my calendar on Monday I was sure I saw two-thirty, but with checking it after her call, it had 9:50. Oops.
Bingo is from 2:00 to 3:00 on Tuesday. While driving to the dentist office I figured I could go to Bingo. I was still rattled from the mix-up and took a nap instead. Wednesday I also took an afternoon nap because my schedule was clear. I’d totally forgotten the change!
Maybe I watched too much Lucille Ball when I was younger. This week has felt like being in one of her episodes. I miss my mind and hope that it comes back from its vacation soon.

~  Connie

From → Humor

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