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Snowstorm In Chicago Delays Hundreds Of Morning Murders

December 11, 2016

The title caught my eye. This is an old article from several years ago, but just came through my email yesterday. I thought it interesting the positive outlook spun from a snow storm. I guess there’s good to be found in everything if you look hard enough. Maybe a few robberies were put on hold as well. ~ Connie

NEWS IN BRIEF   February 22, 2013  VOL 49 ISSUE 08

CHICAGO—The city of Chicago is steadily recovering from an overnight snowstorm that delayed hundreds of murders on Friday morning and will likely continue to push numerous homicides across the city drastically behind schedule, public authorities announced. “As we speak, maintenance crews are working diligently to restore public transportation, de-ice roads, and clear back alleyways so that Chicagoans can quickly resume murdering again,” Department of Streets and Sanitation spokesman Dave Michelson said of the heavy blizzard, which caused numerous homicide cancellations this morning at peak murder times. “Unfortunately, we’re backed up by about 35 deadly shootings at the moment, but we hope to restore regular death tolls as soon as possible. We apologize to anyone forced to postpone shootings or other killings today and assure concerned murderers that they will be able to resume slayings by the early afternoon.” At press time, authorities reported that murders were up and running in many parts of the city, with four teenagers already gunned down on Chicago’s South Side.


From → Humor

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