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Mom Taught Me

March 4, 2016

I probably posted this the first time it came around, but it’s worth a repeat. ~ Connie

Morning Story and Dilbert

Vintage Dilbert March 3, 2014 Vintage Dilbert
March 3, 2014

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your…

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