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February 27, 2015

I thought a touch of humor was needed this Friday. This is from the Steve Laube agency and written by Steve Laube himself. They are one of the Christian publishers I plan to submit my novel to. (Of course, after that awkward sentence they’ll give me a polite no.)
I have also included two responses that I thought were exceptional.

This lady…
Lives a Purpose Driven Life and 
Knows the Power of a Praying Wife.
She practices Five Love Languages and
 Will not be Left Behind.
She spent 90 Minutes in Heaven
  And is convinced that Heaven is for Real.
She is both Captivating and Radical
 Because she Kissed Dating Goodbye and
 Has developed a Mary Heart in a Martha World.
She wears Blue Like Jazz and keeps The Shack spotless
 While making a Case for Christ.
She secured Dinner with a Perfect Stranger and
 Appreciates a man who is Wild at Heart and More Than a Carpenter.

But ultimately the Christian Publisher is most attracted to and admires the perfect Christian woman because she is…


Jennifer: Well, that means I’ve been an epic fail all my life! I lie a laundry driven life, I don’t dust my shack. I know ASL and a bit of Spanish and French. And English too. But that’s only 4. I have a heart murmur in a aerobic world. I have my own power tools and I like things tame. I prefer opera to jazz. Now my day is ruined!! Oh well, Jesus thinks I’m to die for.
Timothy: Fortunately, she has Love & Respect for a Couragious man who is Fireproof. He makes his living as The Circle Maker, but likes to fish with The Bait of Satan because he spend 23 Minutes in Hell. Because he knows the Lies Women Believe, he always makes time for His Princess and shows her Crazy Love.

An Aside: Jennifer has a typo which is similar to others that I’ve run across. Typos happen all the time [I make more than my fare share, but we won’t talk about those. ;)], but I suddenly got the idea for one of my characters to be driven by that error, not realizing it was a typo. At present, I don’t have a story it would fit into, nor have I figured out a typo that would work for my purpose. It’s an idea mellowing until its time comes.

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